The past week, the world celebrated International Woman’s Day, and if I may say, celebrated with all the pomp and glory, and thanks to media companies, women-oriented brands and gifting enterprises, seemingly made the day even more commercial than each past year. An interjection here, before you think of me as a ‘woman’s day celebration’ phobic, I am all for celebrating days like these, even though the GenZ argument is that you should celebrate women each day and not just one. While that is true, celebrating days like these is an opportunity to spark debates, highlight issues and appreciate the achievements, amidst all the noise around. I translate this logic of mine to celebrating birthdays: however much adulting is tough and life brings on challenges as we grow, it is important to pause amidst the noise and celebrate your one day highlighting your existence, while at the same time, trying to celebrate small wins and moments the rest of the 364 days, it just helps you keep moving.
This women’s day, I decided to treat myself to a solo coffee date and complete some personal work in that process. I hunted a new cafe in my city, booked a cab and made my way to the place, decked with all my diaries and gadgets. As soon as I entered, and mentioned that I am looking for a table for one, there was a silent look on the owner’s face: which by now, I am used to as a solo traveller and serial cafe hopper. The owner guided me to a corner, with a table arrangement for two, and since the cafe was full that day, due to a public holiday the very same day, I could feel the owner giving me a guilt trip on ‘wasting’ a seat next to me on my table.
Flustered, super flustered, I ordered my coffee and a slice of apple pie as a token of me ‘appreciating’ myself this women’s day. But I couldn’t pay heed to me work: just this one thought, spiralled in a loop of multiple similar incidents, which I am sure, you as a solo traveller, and maybe more particularly as a female solo traveller might have discerned. I have had multiple questions to pose to the society on this, and I have honestly never got an answer, a satisfactory answer to be more specific, from people around me.
So, here I am, just letting them out in the universe, for people to answer them, or maybe, if that’s too much of an expectation, at least to relate to them and validate them in the process. Why is solo travelling as a female, considered by some, as a way of escaping some sort of a reality: sometimes it is mental stress or what I hear most of the times, lack of a partner or love in your life. I for one, travel for multiple reasons: because I love travelling and exploring, because I do not want to get burnt out earning money at my 9-6 job, because I want to break the noise of my personal responsibilities, because I love making Instagram reels and blogging about my travel, because I love reconnecting with Nature and the power above, and so much more! My question is, why does the society even feel the need to question solo travelling, and that too with an eye of judgement. Nobody questions this much when families travel for summer vacations, or newly wed couples travel for their honeymoon trips. While all of that is accepted as if they are integral to a human life cycle process, why is solo travel then looked upon as an anomaly, meant to be justified to each cafe owner, each hotel attendant, each cab driver, each uncle waiting at the airport check-in queue? Why do people over-sympathise if they see me solo travelling in public transport: as if I need help or support or someone to talk to? Why do people find it hard to digest that I had one of the most enlightening experiences as a solo traveller in Goa, as if I ‘wasted’ a place on the map by going there solo? Why do most cafes (and mind you, I even mean to include the new, chic upcoming ones as well) offer meals meant to be at least shared by two people in terms of the portion size? Why do I have to portray that I have work to complete on a solo cafe trip, and why hasn’t society made it comfortable for me to just order coffee and have it, while doing absolutely nothing in the cafe?
These are questions I could document, there are many more I couldn’t. And as I embark on prepping my itinerary for my next solo trip, I shall leave the noise of these questions in the background, only to be brought at the forefront by people I encounter at my next destination.
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